10 Ways to Beat the Blues

Recently I've been feeling a little run down, tired of people, and in general like a lump. These feelings are nothing new to me, but they do become a bit tiring after a while. Thus the reason I'm doing a little research into how to banish the winter blahs from my life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fabulous Debauchery PROUDLY presents:

The Top 10 ways to beat the Winter Blahs with Style!

(10) Home Remodeling: Basically this is the very last thing that should be done, unless you want to throw a fabulous soiree and invite your best frenemies. Make bitches jealous with your oh-so-fabulous pied a terre, and get the bastards you know to stock your bar at the same time. The savings in premium alcohol with help off set any remod costs you incur along the way. Remember, the rule to a stock your bar party is ONE bottle to share with everyone at the party, and ONE to leave behind as a gift.

(9) Take Up a Winter Sport: Personally I have a winter sport...it's called Bitching. Maybe you have heard of it. I find that the peak season for bitching often falls in winter (With important matches falling on the fourth of July, and Thanksgiving...but that's more of a last minute warm up, really). Practice your art on those around you, and unsuspecting innocents. I find that being particularly rude to clergy members (YAY Nuns!) is a great way to bolster points.

(8) Watch What You Eat: Next.

(7) Simplify, Simplify, Simplify: Thank you, Thoreau. This is actually a very therapeutic thing to do in winter. Get rid of excess people and baggage. Donate that horrid Fendi purse from 3 years ago to the bag lady at Superior and Euclid. She will look particularly smart, and be the envy of the soup kitchen. Also get rid of tired, depressing, and worn out relationships. C'mon...you know you'd rather have a purse!

(6) Soak up Some Rays: YES, YES, YES! But I swear on everything holy, you CANNOT substitute those god-awful spray on tans for this. Go somewhere fabulous for a weekend. Fly to the Yucatan, and then take a day-trip to Cuba. Have mojitos, and get screwed by the hottest Commie in the district! But for God's sake,please get some sun! You're so pale you've become translucent!

(5) Color You Home With Flowers: Where the fuck does this shit come from? (By the way, I"m totally yanking these from somewhere else and writing my own thoughts about them...quite possibly this could be construed as plagiarism, but do I care? No.)

(4) Socialize: That is what the party was for...These people need to have a glass of bourbon and get laid every once and a while...then they might not be so lame.

(3) Find a New Hobby: I think this is fantastic. You could find new and interesting people to screw, or perfect masturbation. Also you could start brewing your own beer, or making your own wine. There is always knitting...but really, why put all those child-sweatshop workers out of a job?

(2) Read Some Good Books: Yes...and keep checking this blog!

AND THE NUMBER 1 WAY TO BEAT THE WINTER BLAHS IS..................

(1) Exercise: I know, I know...it's a bit of a let down; however, think about it like this. You need to be physically able to have a ton of sex, do illicit drugs, party, and still look fabulous while doing it. Stay hydrated, eat balanced meals, and for Christ's sake...go out and get laid!

More thoughts on the New President

So I have been continually thinking about why I haven't had elation over the election of President Obama. I thought, perhaps, it was caused by my utter disgust at the government of W; in that I truly believed that the situation could not become worse. But now I believe it is because I have moved past any prejudice I may have had against people of color. I believe that any man deserves that for which he has striven his entire life, so since I believe that President Obama has worked hard, put shoulder to mill-stone, and paid his dues, I have no problem or wonderment that he has won.

This all stems from the fact that in all honesty I was expecting something phantasmagorical to happen once President Obama took the oath of office. I'm not really sure what I was expecting...perhaps some lightning, foreign invasion, or for his head to split open and a alien to step out...you know, something out of the ordinary. I have heard people marvelling at how peaceful the transition has been, and this worries me. Do people believe that there has been an UNpeaceful transition of power in U.S. History? Y'all know better, right? The civil war wasn't between rival factions who wanted their guy in the White House. It was about the sanctity of states' rights, discontent between Southern Conservatives, and Northern Liberals, and slavery (in that order). I think that this coded language means that the people saying it are surprised that Barak Obama has had no attempt made on his life, or the lives of his family members. For this I am VERY happy; however, there is a part of me that prays continually for the safety of his daughters.

Obama Nation Day 1

I admit I would have rather watched the event live; however, I was slinging coffee at Starbucks (quite UNfabulous, I agree). I have watched video and read the complete text of President Obama's Inaugural Address. The man can give a speech! I'm still processing what I have read, and heard, and believe might come of it.

I like that President Obama said (in essence) that no one deserves what he has not earned. This strokes my Randian ideals.

I still fear that President Obama may be the Anti-Christ. Only time will tell.

That being said...I'm still glad I voted for him.

Dionysian Splendor

From hookah bars, to fine dining, the past week has lent itself to epicurean wandering. Perhaps it was the extremely cold weather, but I have felt a nomadic pull to venture out into our fair city and discover where the people are hanging out, living life, being fabulous, and wasting time. This task is not really a new calling; however, I have rarely felt the need to put pen to page (or in our world of cyber-living, fingers to keyboard) to share my thoughts with others. Perhaps the time has come.

What follows is a review of three different establishments along the High Street Corridor. To some I will return...to others...well...maybe not so much.

Shi-Sha Lounge
Location: North High Street & Patterson (North Campus)
Faire: Flavored Tobacco, stoner yummies, coffee, tea, etc.
Thoughts: It wasn't the first time I had gone to the Shi-Sha lounge. It was the first time I spent any length of time there. I felt, at first, that I was reliving my glory days of undergrad years when friends and I would gather in a smoke filled cafe, play endless hours of cards, and fly through what should have been productive hours. We would write bad poetry, converse openly about the intertwining of sex, art, philosophy, politics, and somehow we still all graduated college. Any critique I have of the Shi-Sha is one that they cannot improve upon, for how can they make a 27 year old man into a 19 year old boy? The staff is attentive even in their post-adolescent, ennui engulfed, waifish, quasi-queer, "life is so pointless," malaise. Good for people watching, and perhaps picking up some Arabic or Somali. Will I return? Doubtless, for I have a sado-masochistic stream that makes me want to yearn for yester-year, and inflict bad poetry upon my friends.

Gypsy Cafe
Location: North High Street & Price (Short North)
Faire: Flavored Tobacco, Hot Dogs, Bad Coffee
Thoughts: The crowd at this hookah bar is a bit older...think grad school not under grad. Smaller and cramped. I was served a cup of cold coffee. Overall not a great experience. The decor is nice enough, but not really enough to save it. There was a hottie working there, but even that is not enough to necessitate another visit.

Black Olive
Location: North High Street and Buttles (Short North)
Faire: New American Fusion
Thoughts: Does anyone else remember The Coffee Table? That quirky little bohemian cafe that used to be the gathering point for summer people watching, before Pride coffee, and lazy Sunday afternoons? Well fear not, for even though that charming cafe is no more, remnants remain 'neath the glitz and glamor of Black Olive. The scene at Black Olive seems to be one of urban sophistication meets pomo chic. Whimsical touches abound (see bubble chandelier, and fake plants in windows), which add a lightening element to what could become an oppressive, dreary, all to stuffy atmosphere; however, after you get past the chic finishes, and reflective surfaces, you will no doubt notice that some of what made the Coffee Table charming, now serves as a great detriment to an establishment trying so desperately to lure away neighborhood clientele from more established restaurants. Perhaps some of the decorating budget should have been spent installing new windows so that if one is seated by the window his red wine doesn't chill to an undrinkable, and flavor stifling, temperature. Also, and this one just slays me, the restaurant is in an old building, the foundation has settles, and the floor is uneven. This was quirky when I paid $2 bucks for my Hylander Grogg...It's not charming when my glass of wine shows me the unevenness of the floor. The floors are concrete...they should have been re-poured.
With all that being said, the food was SPECTACULAR! I had the Spit-fire Duck, and it was delicious. The meat tender, non-greasy, and just the right amount of kick to make the palate dance with joy. Portions of duck breast roasted in high heat served over a melange of sauteed peppers, onions, and mushrooms, served over a bed of crispy red potatoes. The sauce contained a smoky heat that complimented the sweetness of the peppers, and the robust quality of the duck. I paired the meal with a glass of shiraz. Quite a good pairing if I do say so. The portion was opulent for the price, and the staff were attentive, friendly, and knowledgeable. I shall be returning to Black Olive whenever the occasion arises.